Archive:
April 2005 - December 2005
13/12/05
Its
been a month since my last entry in the Artblog. I try to add
something new depending on what has been going on in the studio
or out in the world. Well,for the last four weeks I have been
given over to the almost hypnotic act of drawing. The sketchbooks
are filling with ideas and are certainly fulfilling their purpose
- chronicling concepts as they occur and leaving a trail of strange
ideas that have no idea as to their eventual conclusions. I've
been trying out all sorts of odd things - microwaving old CDs,
assembling weird models with matchsticks and rubber bands. Of
course, it makes sense to record ideas in the same place so there's
a lot of strange materials actually glued into the pages of the
sketchbooks so they're having trouble closing. No matter. I think
the trick is not to be too precious about them, just to let everything
flow out into the books.
Aside from this scrappy work, part of the coursework is encouraging
me to work in larger formats. I have never worked on a grand scale
using charcoal and inks before but this large drawing is on a
sheet of MG paper. Grinding charcoal to darken a large area is
certainly fun, but it kills my arm at this scale.
 |
Its
still very unfinished at this stage but I think I'll work
on it when its flat on the floor from this point. I've discovered
the joys of dripping ink from a stick onto the drawing's
surface. I like the unpredictable effects - especially if
they're complementing a more planned and worked area.
Still,
I doubt this piece will make it into the final portfolio.
It has been a useful exercise, certainly, but its massive
scale is an intrusion compared to other works that are going
in. There will be a lot of smaller works mounted onto A1
sheets as required in the portfolio guidelines. Of course,
I have so many prints of larger works that I would like
to include but space is limited.
I'm
producing so much of what I would normally call "preparatory"
work right now. For too long I've rushed into large paintings
- this is a different phase of creative outlet right now.
I may not be in the depths of a large oil painting but it
feels no less intense, just the same. |
___________________________________________
11/11/05
For
the first time since the historic New Labour victory of 1997 the
prime minister has been shamed. He pushed very publicly and, I
dare say, courageously for a bill that would allow the 90 day
holding of terrorist suspects without trial. The bill was defeated.
Of
course, the main driving force behind this media sensation has
been the contribution of fundamentalist attacks, particularly
the recent train bombings in London. These were disgusting and
cowardly acts of blinkered hate and the distortion of a noble
and respected faith. Unfortunately, the existence of the tiny
minority who sporadically strive to disrupt and maim has provided
yet another opening for those who would work towards a different
agenda.
For
a long time I have coped with a dull sense of dread regarding
this kind of issue. The government's huge majority has enabled
the steady erosion of civil liberties with little or no opposition
since the events of September 11th 2001. It is desperately ironic
that G. W. Bush condemns those who wish to destroy us because
"they hate our freedom" and yet we reward a "terrorist"
outrage by diluting and restricting our own societal freedoms.
Well,
I think I have to welcome the return of my long lost respect for
the actions and potential of parliament. Regardless of the motives,
I think there was enough of a majority who recognised that the
prime minister was quite simply wrong to support the appeals of
the police force to this end. Blair is clearly a pragmatic man
but after his terrifying quote, "I only know what I believe",
he has made it plainly clear that he has neither the level head,
clarity nor precision of thought to lead. His recent loss of temper
in the Commons under stress has only confirmed this. On this issue,
he has made it painfully clear that he is out of step with public
opinion - the fear of the potential police state - that 90 days
a.k.a. "The thin end of the wedge" and, most importantly,
that our prolonged climate of fear may give the public the impression
that this tiresome suspicion and trepidation is temporary. Remember
- our security forces rarely give up such a draconian tool once
it has been granted - and never forget that the old gentleman
who was forcibly removed from the Labour conference this summer
for shouting during Jack Straw's speech was prevented from reentering
the conference under the prevention of terrorism act . What comes
next? 120 days without trial? 240?
Although
I am deeply suspicious of the term "terrorism" - although
I am deeply suspicious of the biased media coverage regarding
our minority communities so readily ostracised through casual
racism and religious intolerance. I am convinced that the "Blitz
Spirit" still has value today. We should cast off our fears
and bulletin panic that are sold to us as slickly as a new mortgage
plan. We should resolutely condemn violence without hysteria and
not allow our basic civil liberties to decay in the face of a
western mindset that wishes us to embrace fear so that we accept
questionable foreign policy.
Remember
the tanks at Heathrow? Give me a break.
___________________________________________
07/11/05
One
of the sketchbooks I'm keeping is exploring the potential of electrical
components from an old 1960s car stereo. This started as a small
project for the GSA course. As usual, I've been getting a bit
carried away with it. There seems to be a variety or recurring
motifs based around the clunky circuit board. Bearing in mind
that this thing was made in the days before microprocessors, it
is fascinating to see all these old-fashioned transistors, capacitors
and resistors hand-soldered into place.
A
subject as devoid of emotion as this reminds me of a lot of the
sketch work for the Telegraph & Pathmaker series. Familiar
themes of technology and its relentlessness are expanding anew.

This
time, however, I'm staying with this newfound practice of trying
out as many different drawing techniques - using as many different
ways of exploring the subject as I can. Being the time of year
that it is, I asked some friends to help me out with another form
of drawing. I handed out sparklers and showed each person one
of the simplistic motifs describing an electrical component that
they would draw in the air. The camera shutter speed was set to
six seconds with the aperture fully opened.
It
struck me what an odd tradition the whole firework thing is. Still,
I can't help but enjoy the spectacle. I went up onto the roof
with my camera and set the shutter speed for fifteen seconds this
time. I have a great view of the city at the best of times but
the site of rockets lighting up the sky and the buildings of Glasgow
all across the horizon was spectacular. The sound was astonishing
- a constant bombardment of cracks, bangs and rumbling.

___________________________________________
01/11/05
The
course work proceeds, the current project brief is focusing on
2D and 3D drawing. No colour work as yet - we're developing an
understanding of the relationship between space and form.
Step
1. Pile a load of objects in the middle of the studio (e.g. a
ladder, boxes, cardboard, umbrellas, gloves)
Step 2. Produce a series of drawings of the installation, continuously
varying media - pens, pencils, charcoal, collage, etc.
Step 3. Expand upon drawings and produce a series of 3D models
based upon the forms within the drawings.
Step 4. Create a final model based solely on the previous models.
Step 5. Produce one final detailed drawing of the finished model
- large format / MG paper.
So,
what we end up with is the net result of analytical drawings,
with several degrees of separation from the original source of
study. I have to say that this project really bemused me at first.
However, I'm slowly recognising what this technique has been doing
to the way I work. For one thing, it has really helped me reestablish
contact with the diagnostic aspects of drawing. I scribble merrily
away without being conscious of any desire to produce a sketch
with artistic merit in itself. Drawing has again become a tool
- a means to an end. It doesn't sound like much but its a big
deal for me. My various sketch books have, for years, been examples
of a gallery attempting to assert itself on pages rather than
a scrapbook of ideas and developments.
Additionally,
I used photoshop as an investigative tool - using it to eliminate
any connotations implied by colour, perhaps by changing the hue
or completely de-saturating an image. Prints of these oddities
were then turned into expanded drawings themselves.
Initially,
I fell into the trap of thinking too much about each step. As
usual, the best developments seemed to happen intuitively. Exercises
that I thought would grate against my instincts have actually
been incorporated and adopted fairly smoothly. I've even started
to enjoy cobbling together these 3D "drawings". I've
been reading a lot about automatic drawing, as in the way that
many of the founders of Surrealism practiced it and, although
these models are based upon the forms of the previous drawings,
the abstractions that creep in are entertaining. This intention
of creating individual units reminds me of Yves Tanguy's little
shapes in his larger paintings - almost as if each model is an
entity with its own implied personality.
 |
I've
been getting very wrapped up in all this abstraction but
I had a great break from it all the other week. Niall (he
of West Highland Way fame) is getting married soon - so
myself and a group of our friends went up to Glencoe for
his stag night. Before we had a night of drinking at the
Clachaig, we went canyoning.
I
had no idea what canyoning was so I looked up the website
for the centre that organised it. Basically, its like white-water
rafting without the boat. Over an extensive chain of waterfalls
and rapids, our group progressed single-file. We were kitted
out with two wetsuits each, headgear, buoyancy aids, harnesses,
etc. and were instructed that we would be negotiating icy
water, clambering down rock faces, rapelling, sharp rocks
and heart-stopping precipices. The whole thing was unnerving
to say the least - dangerous and exhilarating. I think we
forget our true nature living in the city. There's something
delicious about a burst of sheer animal fear when preparing
to jump from a 35 foot ledge into churning rapids. I would
recommend the experience to anyone.
|
___________________________________________
12/10/05
Well,
the course was heavily oversubscribed but I was lucky enough to
be chosen. I haven't written anything for a while because I've
been so busy. If I want to make this course worth my while then
I need to put a lot of effort into it. With an emphasis on drawing
and disciplined project work, I am expected to produce huge numbers
of drawings, experimenting with different styles and techniques
of analytical drawing - different materials, different media.
In short, I have started working in precisely the opposite way
to the way I work in the studio.
Nothing
has ever caused so much upheaval to my usual output and habits
of making art. My drawing is something I have neglected and trying
to get back into it really grates against how I'm used to working.
My dreams are really strange too.
In
any case, I don't expect to produce anything approaching what
I would call a "finished" painting for a good while.
Its going to be ink, charcoal and pencil for a while. Not to mention
I have to stay on the lookout to gather scraps of any material
I can draw on or create a collage out of - part artist, part magpie
- here I go.
The
timing is good, I suppose. I finally finished the series of nude
studies that have been cluttering the studio. I could only go
so far using myself as the subject of these paintings. It has
been a real development for me to work on life drawings and paintings
throughout this summer. I wonder how long it will be before I
create oil paintings on this scale again. It probably depends
on how disciplined I can be with the project work.
___________________________________________
21/09/05
I'm
feeling twitchy. Although I haven't exactly been back from my
wanderings very long, I'm still longing for the outdoors. Autumn
is refusing to set in at the moment - the leaves are still clinging
to the trees. I find myself pacing around the studio, unable to
concentrate on what I'm painting. Usually this is a recipe for
disaster on the canvas but I'm fairly happy with the way this
large nude study is turning out. Again, most of the canvas is
dominated by the torso, cropped at the head and waist. The subject
focuses on the hand gestures more than the last
time - the hands dominating the lower portion of the canvas.
In a similar style, crosshatched brushstrokes obscure some portions
of the composition and emphasise others.
One
of the final things I completed on the last painting was the surrounding
background. I left it very unfinished and, impulsively, green
- a colour I usually have some kind of strange blind spot with.
The crosshatching across the torso into the background makes sense
to me - it feels correct. But this time I'm obsessing over the
issue of background colour. It seems so much more important this
time and I don't know why. Maybe I shouldn't worry about it. Maybe
I'll let myself act impulsively again - not with green though.
I was lucky to get away with that the last time.
I
can barely concentrate to write this down. I feel like I need
a focus of some kind. Recently, I applied to the Glasgow School
of Art to take part in a portfolio course. I'm hoping it will
give me some discipline to approach projects in a more planned
and disciplined way. I rely way too much on spontaneity. Here's
hoping that I'm accepted. I should find out this week.
___________________________________________
16/09/05
My
right foot is still bothering me but the walk was worth it. The
West Highland Way covers 100 miles of countryside from the north
east of Glasgow to Fort William on the west coast, finishing at
the foot of Ben Nevis - Britain's highest mountain. Myself and
Niall, an old friend from university days, walked throughout the
week, cooked sausages and porridge in the tent, drank in the local
pubs at each stop, and completed the walk, sparing a day to climb
the final mountain.
Paris
was hectic and Glasgow, although familiar, is a big city. I was
longing to get some air into my lungs and stretch my legs this
year - this was a welcome break. I feel so much better.
___________________________________________
28/08/05
What
a strange day.
I
had agreed to participate in the BBC's "Rolf on Art"
special - live from Edinburgh. I was lacking in sleep before traveling
through early this morning. Dozing on the train helped but it
left me very bewildered as to what followed.
Imagine
one hundred BBC runners, highly stressed, not used to the local
climate, but armed with a formidable contingency of alternative
plans for when all else goes pear-shaped. Still,the plan was well
established and good. 120 artists would paint a small section
of the Mona Lisa - all of which would be assembled on live television
in the evening to create a giant collage - an accumulation of
many artist's styles and passions. Well, I was one of those artists.
Think to the lower portion of her left sleeve - this was the area
of canvas that I was to replicate. Being a wholly dull and dark
section of the painting to represent, I produced a very dense
and quick acrylic mass, streaked with lines of glaze. However,
to give the impression of a single painting in itself, I replaced
the cracks of varnish with the signature of the master himself
- Leonardo. I wonder what he would make of this spectacle tonight.
Bathed in the light of the technology he predicted.
Check
out the BBC website for the finished result. The collage was arranged
this evening to much harsh lighting and yelling of the public.
As I write, I haven't seen the finished result - I'm too busy
packing my things for a week of camping. Tomorrow I walk the West
Highland Way with an old friend - I hope he enjoys it.
A
word on Rolf...
He
took the time and interest to display untold enthusiasm for my
painting. No matter what enormous stress an event like today must
have been for himself and the various other celebrities, he was
very approachable and very energetic. I handed my camera to a
woman standing nearby and asked her to take a photograph of myself,
Rolf and my canvas.
So
here it is. The person poking his head between our shoulders is
my friend Jason, the tattoo artist. The reason he is laughing
so hard is because at this point he knew something I didn't -
the woman I asked to take the photograph was the film star, Jane
Seymour.

___________________________________________
23/08/05
| The
smaller figure from Impression:
Notre Dame occupies my interest at the moment. The figure's
shape wasn't particularly planned but there's something
about its outline that keeps me thinking. The original painting
carries a tension in the relationship between the two figures
standing in the rain and I find myself thinking more about
this person. I think it is a woman although I can't be certain.
I've
prepared a canvas for a larger painting of this woman. I'm
in the process of experimenting with different possible
variations on style. I can feel the essence of how she will
look but I can't see it yet. I think the face will be isolated
but the body will be portrayed more decoratively. I can
see the painting being more precise and less impressionistic.
It
feels strange to work like this - to extrapolate a painting's
component from a small concept into its own finished piece
of work. Usually studies for a painting precede the finished
work.
Regardless,
I'm not feeling very confident about the eventual outcome
- if I don't tackle the major work soon I'll probably leave
it behind - use the canvas for something else. Perhaps this
figure is destined to become a finished drawing. Or maybe
she'll stay like this, in obscurity. |
 |
 |
___________________________________________
03/08/05
Okay,
I'm clearly not done with the nude thing yet. Two large pristine
canvases have been lurking in the corner of the studio for a while
and I expected another was going to be used on another reflection
painting. Instead, I started on what I thought would be a final
nude study using myself as a subject.
 |
The
larger scale seemed to give rise to problems. First, I was
aware of the desire to do something highly finished with
the large canvas - consequently, I lost some of the spontaneity
that usually produces something good. I certainly spent
more time working on this painting than I intended. Second,
the lighting of the pose was more subtle than I've been
used to - I just couldn't seem to get the midrange flesh
tones right.
Still,
it is actually a pretty good facial likeness of me. I'm
not sure if this success was a result of practice; all the
painting I've been doing recently - or maybe it was just
a happy accident.
The
better stuff always seems to flow out on to the canvas.
If I spend too long struggling and solving problems, I may
still produce something that I like but it will always be
second best. Or maybe its something simpler. Perhaps I just
dislike something that made me frustrated - the experience
becomes tainted with the memory of the fight, having to
spend more time and effort than normal.
|
| I
needed a break after this but I still needed to keep painting
- an odd feeling. So in one evening I threw paint onto a
little board in the good old impressionist style again.
I had seen a wonderful sunset beyond the tower blocks on
the edge of the city some nights previously and I churned
out something like it. It couldn't be further from the style
of the nudes - very loose and quick with attention paid
to the colour at the expense of the form.
The
colour problems of the previous painting were jarred by
this. Very quickly I prepared the other large canvas and
started on another nude.
The
pose in the above painting was me trying to click my troublesome
lower back - easing the pain of standing for hours in front
of the easel - bracing myself on the floor with my right
leg and twisting at the hips. This pose left a lot of background
space on the canvas so I decided to try something simpler
that devoted more of the painted surface to the skin. |
 |
 |
This
was the result. It was painted very quickly and spontaneously
and it seems purer to me somehow - definitely the best of
the series.
The
above little foray back into impressionism loosened up the
brushstrokes - I created detailed forms and then crosshatched
them to produce something not quite impressionistic. This
painting has far more representational colours used in a
more natural pose of conversational gestures.
The
best sign of all was that I rarely revisited previous areas
- minimal correction and definitely less use of paint. It
is clearly a very different kind of painting compared to
the other nudes but I feel confidence in the natural change
of styles through repetition. I know I'll work on still
more nudes but I'm not going to impose limitation in style
- we'll see where it all goes. |
___________________________________________
27/07/05
I've
been trying my hand at drawing with charcoal. This last week I
attended a life drawing workshop at the Glasgow School of Art
- a lovely building, if a bit battered and scuffed. Some of the
exercises were excruciating. I was encouraged to work in a very
counter-intuitive way, the purpose being to break me out of habits
and expose me to new techniques and methods of approaching drawing.
The
most rewarding elements of the workshop were the moments wear
I felt able to capture something of the subject from a model as
opposed to working from conceptual drawings or photographs in
order to complete a finished painting. I have been working more
and more with painting the naked human form, trying to appreciate
some of the subtleties of anatomy.
Throughout
the week, I have been working on one final painting based upon
photographs of myself. The drawing exercises upset the flow a
little but I hope to finish it soon. Right now the flesh-tones
seem to be excessively pale and blue, regardless of the fact that
I live in Scotland. I have a couple of reflection studies in mind
for when this is finished - I'm just waiting to dash out with
the camera when it next rains.

___________________________________________
08/07/05
 |
I'm
back in Scotland again - feels good.
Within
no time of returning, I threw myself into painting again.
With access to the studio and some nice large canvases,
I quickly took an old image of my goldfish and adapted it
for colour.
I
had such a huge spontaneous rush of energy in starting this
first painting - after six months without making a mess
with oil or acrylic I knew that something colourful was
going to appear. For the first time, I have used quickly
applied impressionistic brushstrokes to imply movement.
Well,
the finished result is a little over the top but it makes
me smile. Its a nice big painting too - it certainly brightens
the room. Having completed this, I settled into working
on a smaller, more subtle painting.
|
| It
didn't seem right not to create at least one piece of work
that didn't reflect my time in Paris and, unsurprisingly
for me, reflection cropped up again.
I
loved the rain in Paris. They have occasional but massive
downpours - big fat drops of rain that clear the air in
minutes. The courtyard in front of the cathedral was one
of the places I walked through most and I used a tiny portion
of a photograph I took in front of Notre Dame as the basis
of this painting.
The
reflection effects are more abstract than usual. I allowed
a sense of experimentation to creep in as I was putting
the finishing touches - little blocks of colour here and
there. The tension between the presence of the two people
wasn't intended but I liked the overall effect. |
 |
 |
And
then, with no fanfare, I started painting again. I still
had such a strong urge to keep working but no subject matter
in mind. So, I took a series photographs of myself and started
sketches based on them.
Painting
anatomy is almost completely new to me. I've never had much
interest in depicting flesh in this way but the experience
has changed something in me. I have never been as productive
as I am right now - I'm continuously priming new canvases
for the easel and experimenting with different colour combinations
for skin tones and shadow effects.
To
paint in such a way to define form was not a conscious decision.
There are no impressionistic feathers of paint streaking
canvas fibres. I have been applying paint so decisively
and strongly compared to the way I normally work, leaving
me pleasantly bewildered. I have described the process of
my painting as being a process of deleting the mistakes
I don't want to keep - well, this has been a very different
experience.
Feeling
this enthused can only be good - It has been years since
I have been quite so absorbed by painting. |
 |
 |
___________________________________________
12/06/05

I
went to La Museé D'Orsay this weekend - finally.
This was the big one for me. Much as the Lovre was a pilgrimage
for famous and historical painting, this weekend was about
finally seeing in the flesh paintings that I know very well
indeed - those that I learned from.
The
gallery itself is a far friendlier place than the Louvre
- a pleasant and informal blend of old and new architecture.
Once a railway station - there is plenty of natural light
available - ideal for paintings in which so often the primary
focus is natural light and raw co lour effects.
A grin broke my face when I turned a corner and saw Degas'
The Bellelli Family. Here was a painting that I
have studied for hours in glossy books of print. As I have
said before, it is often disappointing to see an original
painting in the gallery if you know it extremely well -
being accustomed to colour-corrected glossy print. Well,
being amongst the old favourites was no exception. However,
the great breakthrough pieces were superb to see. I've never
really liked much of Manet's work but having my nose up
close to Olympia and, his best work, the simple
still-life paintings encouraged me to think afresh.
As
ever, it is hard for me to enjoy a piece of art when four
hundred other people are shuffling around me and barging
into my view. It's harder still when overawed with image
after image of fame and education in so short a space of
time. |
 |
 |
The
one thing that really struck me was just how close I could
get. The one real benefit from being in a gallery as opposed
to staring at a print is that I could see the detail - the
thickness of the paint on the canvas and the coarseness
of the brush used. No velvet ropes, no surly attendants
-I was able to get within centimeters of the paintings I
love the most.
And
there, in front of one of Monet's haystack paintings, I
had a little moment of peace. I was able to forget the hundreds
of people behind me and I finally saw a famous painting
the way I see my own. I was able to forget the whole and
concentrate on the intimate habitat of a painting - maybe
two square inches of lumps and bumps, pigment and distortion,
scrapes and mistakes. |
It
refuels and charges. I am returning to Scotland in just over a
week. I am so looking forward to three things: seeing my family
and friends, climbing in the quiet open air, and painting.
And
painting and painting and painting...

___________________________________________
20/05/05
I've
just got back in from another late-night marathon walk. I've become
accustomed to the greasy roads, streetlights shrouded in leaves.
The shop-fronts are quaint and stereotypical - the architecture
leaves me cold for the most part. It is beautiful but too repetitive
to maintain the impact. After a few blocks I stop appreciating
it. In the usual setting, something occurred to me tonight. Here
I am in this classical city of famous cultural influence, style
and aesthetic appeal. If someone were to ask me what my single
strongest memory from my time in Paris was, my answer wouldn't
be the galleries, the paintings, the cafes, bars and restaurants.
Not even the glorious wine - it would have to be all the homeless
people.
Night
after night, I walk the beautifully quiet, tree-lined streets.
There are so many items that appeal along the pavements - movie
billboards and chained mopeds lined up in formation. Every other
street seems to have at least one shop doorway where some poor
soul is huddled for the night. Sometimes passed out with a bottle
in front of them. Others are clearly veterans of the city, with
a mini-fortress of cardboard, blankets and provisions. It seems
so incongruous with what appears to be such an established hallmark
of civilization. Paris is equipped for every tourist, employee,
artisan, critic, commentator, adventurer, traveler and career
professional. Yet there is no reward in helping the growing number
of alcoholics, mentally-ill, and general misfits that have no
option but to sit on the streets. So there they stay. I am not
writing this out of outrage or pity, only confusion. I have been
so long away from the notebook or easel that my mind is filling
itself with unborn images when I try to sleep in the early hours.
I can feel the new images lining up to be assessed by the part
of me that has to produce paintings. I know what will be painted
because I am thinking of Boulevard Diderot, Rue St. Antoine, even
the Place de Republique - all glittering lights, lush vegetation,
and a forgotten minority of shapes huddled in sleeping-bags.
I
have no great social commentary to make, no grand theories. I
do have precedent though. When I lived in the country I produced
paintings of nature - when in Edinburgh, I painted buildings.
There is no inspiration, only exposure.
___________________________________________
06/05/05
General
election time again - I'm sitting in the flat in Paris watching
the BBC webcast of the election footage. Superb commentary from
Andrew Marr, the usual combatative insults from Jeremy Paxman,
and the frankly ludicrous computer generated statistical nonsense
with Peter Snow. I care deeply about politics and, like all other
things I can exercise no influence over, I get utterly frustrated
and angry by what I hear. I sense the distant call of approaching
middle age when I catch myself shouting at the television.
I'm
not sure if increased attention to political issues has made me
more sensitive to the morals of politicians but it seems to me
that they aren't capable of lying nearly so well as they once
did. Regardless, I really can't understand if the electorate are
either accepting of political ethics, particularly with regard
to current foreign policy, or if they are just easily convinced.
Is there a single person who believes in the "extensive and
credible" threat that brought the UK to war? Is it acceptable
to turn a blind eye to the lies of a Prime Minister because we
know conflict is inevitable? What turns my stomach the most is
having to listen to Jack straw attempting to patch a myriad of
lies with other untruths by his continuous dubious translation
of UN resolutions and international law despite the massive press
and legal criticisms to the contrary. Contrast this with the unsavoury
manipulations of Michael Howard, preaching to the reptilian brains
of the racists and xenophobes.
I
was in London last weekend. I walked past Downing Street for the
first time since I was about five years old. As usual, actual
physical exposure to a concept leads me to more confusion. Rosettes
and liars - claims, counter-claims and rebuttals. After one of
the most senselessly dull, base and withering election campaigns
I can remember, we are preparing to re-elect an openly dissembling
and overly centralized government and we still have no credible
alternative. I find it hard to see democracy in action - I can
clearly see the bars at the end of the tunnel.

___________________________________________
26/04/05
Only
a couple of weeks after my last visit, I was back at the Eiffel
Tower, this time to take the trip to the top with some friends.
I think I've neglected photography recently so I was pleasantly
surprised to have come home with two images that work for me.
This
first one is a panorama of Paris. Four images, taken from the
observation deck, were stitched together in Photoshop. I think
I'm getting better at choosing the amount of pan between photographs
- fewer lens distortions are apparent in the finished image. Paris
is flat and repetitive. The residential buildings are so similar
and all are roughly around the same height so the landmarks are
easy to pick out. I also love to see the light areas where the
sun breaks through the clouds.

The
second image was sheer luck. I held my camera through the safety
barrier at the top, pointed it down and zoomed in as far as I
could. After a little cropping and cleaning, the final image is
strangely compelling. The vague streaks of wet concrete hold a
vertical pattern, the line of people also suggests order wheras
the scattering of others makes me think of more random, insect-like
behaviour.

___________________________________________
04/04/05
The
Tower is certainly quite a structure, although a little uglier
than I expected when up close. After all, it is just a massive
collection of steel and iron - elegance in the slender design
is better seen from afar. Nonetheless, it is an amazing feat of
architecture and engineering. Like all such monumental oddities
in the world, there are huge numbers of facts, figures and stats
on display. Anecdotes and tape measures - I have been particularly
impressed with the official Eiffel Tower website.
There are plenty of images and QTVRs available, along with the
history and other related information.

It
was my day to get out and about again. I have been sitting in
front of this computer working on the project design relentlessly.
The weather is suddenly beautiful, the leaves are sprouting from
the trees and I knew it would do me good to get out. I have been
low of late - coming to terms with being single again, not to
mention the inevitable decline of spirits that comes with trying
to work to get away from it all. So my long walk in the beautiful
city of Paris wasn't as uplifting as it could have been. I marched
through the crowds, mulling things over.
My
thoughts turned to an idea that I've been bouncing around for
a while. My previous work in cancer services put me in contact
with some amazing people - doctors, nurses, clinicians, you name
it. I was particularly interested in the institutional environment
that they worked in and how it shaped their lives. For whatever
reason, I imagined an accident happening to a doctor that appears
to disfigure him as well as leaving him with new abilities - the
kind of bizarre situation that transforms mild-mannered citizens
into superheroes. I liked the idea of it being a parody of old
comic books. Of course, there is no such transformation, rather
the perceived results of this accident can be viewed as a metaphor
for a psychotic episode with all the accompanying stress and delusion.
Mentally, I have been creating a story in comic-strip form that
chronicles the character, his accident, his transformation, and
subsequently the strange twists that this delusion/alter ego bring
to his working life. I'm uncertain about creating a comic strip
- it may work well as a piece of animation.
The
provisional and silly working title to this is Haematology Man.
When I lay down on the grass next to the tower, I finally pulled
out my notebook and started to scribble the initial ideas. While
I'm here in Paris this is an ideal creative outlet - I don't need
a canvas.
